Then why are you in a cage?

[mostlyajerk]

Assorted Threads.

Comments

[viber]

Oh God no.

I am SO sorry.

[mostlyajerk]

I've had worse first dates.

Somehow.

I could write a manual for the next person you ask out.

[viber]

I didn't mean to do anything that I did. I panicked and had too much wine. I got nervous.

I just really wanted you to like me.

[mostlyajerk]

You should probably sleep some more. Also, stay hydrated.

You must know I like you.

[viber]

I'm awake and the water is so far away. I can't actually get up so I'll do that later.

But you don't want to date me.

[mostlyajerk]

I don't really think that I want to date anyone right now.

It's not you, it's me.

[viber]

Are you sure?

After last night I'm like 90% sure it's me

[mostlyajerk]

I'm just 90% sure that somebody drugged you, actually.

So.

You have really dated before?

[viber]

No, it was just a high proof. I should have checked before I chugged the wine. I had a lot before you came for courage too.

Erm. Well. Kind of.

When I was ten, I went bowling with a girl I liked.

[mostlyajerk]

That's adorable. Maybe we should have stuck to that then, rather than a memorable night.

Do I scare you?

[viber]

We could go bowling. Do you want to? It'd be awesome!

... erm. No? Like. Sometimes but only when you go full rogue.

[mostlyajerk]

I thought you just got horny when that happens.

Why did you feel the need to get so drunk you tried to wear your pants as a cape and sing A Whole New World to me?

[viber]

That too. But like scary horny. Scorny????

I did? Oh god. I don't even remember that.

[mostlyajerk]

Scorny, that actually works. It's ridiculous, but it works.

You did. I was actually pretty entertained, I'm just not sure being near me is good for your liver.

[viber]

I am so scorny for you. Also I just sorta wanna cuddle and be your bae and never ever drink again.

Like seriously. Never again. I am so hung over, I wanna die. So you don't have to worry about my liver, I'm quitting drinking.

[mostlyajerk]

Never ever drinking again does seem like a good plan, do that.

Although I'm not so sure you'll still feel that way when it's time to party again.

You're sweet.

[viber]

I'll always remember the way I sobbed against the knee when you tried to leave and then took off my clothes and lay on the floor and that alone will keep me sober.

Am I sweet enough to get another date?

[mostlyajerk]

You don't think you'd not rather just try being friends first?

[viber]

Okay. We could try the friend thing.

You wanna be frinds?

[mostlyajerk]

No, I want to pin you against a wall and kiss your breath away, but I'm considering practicality.

[viber]

I miss kissing you, I miss the way you're sweet to me and I miss you.

I miss sex so much too.

[mostlyajerk]

Sex is very enjoyable.

It's strange, to read about you saying I'm sweet to you.

[viber]

You petted my head when I had a panic attack. And you always give hugs. Rare as they may be.

[mostlyajerk]

You make crime really damn awkward, I should have known you'd do the same with dates.

[viber]

Is that good or bad? It sounds like both.