Then why are you in a cage?

[mostlyajerk]

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[mostlyajerk]

Are you sure? Because Mark and Mick both give pretty good cuddles, when you can keep them from strangling you instead.

So. You want to date me?

[viber]

Last time I got kidnapped by Mick, he tried to burn me so I'm good.

Yeah. Did you not get that? Date me, we'll get burgers and cuddle :D

[mostlyajerk]

Mick's a dick, you have to stop getting kidnapped.

I.

I'm not really at my best today, actually.

[viber]

That's never going to happen, too late.

Neither am I. Why?

Does that stop you from dating me?

[mostlyajerk]

It makes me vulnerable.

I'm kind of repairing my implants right now, I can't really hear.

[viber]

Can I help? I'm good at stuff like that.

Being vulnerable is just part of love, I guess.

[mostlyajerk]

No wonder I can't stand it.

Well, I'm not leaving the house like this, I'm just hanging with my rats.

[viber]

Can I come over? You never let me.

We only do things on your terms, kinda sucks sometimes. If we date, can it be less one sided.

[mostlyajerk]

That was the deal we had.

Yeah, this would be a different deal. I'll send you my address.

You're bringing burgers? Because all I have are stale poptarts.

[viber]

That's cool, you've seen my kitchen. Everything I have is expired or weird stuff my mom brought me.

There's a reason I eat take out.

I'm coming with food!

[mostlyajerk]

Where are you getting the food?

You're a good boyfriend so far.

[viber]

Depends. What do you want? Big Belly Burger or Taco Bell? Or I guess thai, I'm near a thai place.

Awesome!

[mostlyajerk]

I like Thai and I like things that are less big and commercialised, but whatever you want. Just make sure it's vegetarian, can't abandon all principles for a cute guy.

[viber]

So thai and vegetarian. I'm on it!

Should I bring back a drink or something? Coke? 7-up? Mountain dew?

[mostlyajerk]

I usually just drink water. But I'm fine with some spice, in case you're wondering. Not full on heat, but normal Thai stuff.

This reminds me of you freaking out over bringing salad to work.

[viber]

Do you want a coffee? Jitters is like right there. And I got your stuff, the women that works there looked at me like I was so crazy because I went vegetarian. She thought I was sick.

I was hungry, I asked for food and you tried to give me leaves. What the fuck was that?

[mostlyajerk]

I always want coffee. And come on, Thai cuisine has great vegetarian dishes! You'll have to try some of mine.

There were croutons, it was good salad! I mean, it was for my lunch, it even had strawberries.

[viber]

Nope, I'm good. You have your stuff, I'll have mine.

Ew, God. All I wanted was like a candy bar and I got fruit. You're like the boring mom no one wants to have. I bet you eat carrot sticks and celery.

[mostlyajerk]

You're secretly five, aren't you?

I like carrot sticks, not going to lie. They have a nice crunch. Grow up, try a nice dip, you'll like them too. They're great with cheese dip.

[viber]

Nope, I just like non-rabbit food.

I won't, stop being gross and prepare for a non-lame dinner. I got you a coffee and a brownie. You know, normal people food.

[mostlyajerk]

I'll show you the wonders of healthy food one of these days. Combine it with bondage.

But coffee and brownie sounds perfect also.

[viber]

That sounds weird. You're going to what, tie me down and force feed me carrots?

They sound way better than salad.

[mostlyajerk]

Not let you come unless you finish some veggies. I don't know, I'll think about it. Give you some vitamins.

You've never had a really delicious salad before.

[viber]

The food I eat is plenty healthy, lay off and let me have fun.

Nope. Doesn't exist.

[mostlyajerk]

Did I just find your hard limit? I talked about tying you to a cross and your eyes just lit up, but veggies is a no go?