Then why are you in a cage?

[mostlyajerk]

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[mostlyajerk]

People are idiots, on the whole. Sometimes I forget that. I get why people don't want to date me. You? Not so much.

You'll get a kiss. You'll get a kiss and me grinding against you on the dance-floor.

[viber]

I don't know, I think you're dateable. Even if you're a total dick sometimes. And dude. no one wants to hook up with the dork with the star wars sheets and the cap undies. I'm not exactly a date magnet.

Oh. Hot. I am so game for this.

[mostlyajerk]

You're cute. I've wrapped up here, I have to change and then we can meet up. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to wear.

Also, a lot of guys are nerds. You could find your perfect match!

[viber]

Wear something tight too! And where is this place? Is it going to be a long way? I guess I can't really drive so I'll have to bus it.

Nah, I'm good right now. Like I said, not looking to date.

[mostlyajerk]

Of course I'll wear something tight, my ass is my best attribute.

There is one not far from your place, actually. We can walk, I could pick you up.

Aw, poor nerds are missing out.

[viber]

You ass is hella fine but not your best attribute. One of the top ten though.

Cool, we can do that. I'm ready, just hanging out.

They'll live without me somehow. ALAS.

[mostlyajerk]

Now I want to hear what you think the actual order is. I think everyone else agreed that it's my ass. Trickster took a poll.

ALAS.

[viber]

He rigged the poll and everyone knows it. He does the same poll on everyone and every time, ass wins. He's an ass man and he totes uses like spam bots or messes with the results.

Also his followers recently voted you and him as couple of the year so what do the know?

[mostlyajerk]

Sure, but maybe everyone just has really hot asses. I mean, I know you're more one for pecs and abs.

Yes, he has a thing for me. Meeting him at a gay bar for the first time in person probably didn't help.

[viber]

I just appreciate the effort, you know? Some are so well sculpted, takes a lot of work. Especially yours.

So do you and him have like a thing too?

[mostlyajerk]

Doesn't take that much effort, I just got in the habit of training when I take breaks.

How loose do you think my schedule is?

Anyway, have you seen any naked pictures of me on his social media accounts?

[viber]

I never have time to do stuff like that. Or the effort. Or the energy.

And yes. All the time.

He tends to pixelate stuff and they usually get flagged for inappropriate and taken down but dude, I've seen your blurred junk on his twitter before... did you not know this?

[mostlyajerk]

I was joking.

What.

[viber]

If it helps, I usually flag them on your behalf.

but er yeah

if it's any consolation, you're not the only rogue he uploads nudes off. Last week he had one of Mark.

[mostlyajerk]

That's just Mark. He sends nudes whenever he's drunk.

I've no idea where he fucking gets nudes of me.

[viber]

I don't know but he seems like a creepy and efficient little stalker.

If you want, we can lock him in the pipeline? Remove his phone?

[mostlyajerk]

No, he's...

It's complicated. I'll sort him out.

For now, get your sexy ass down.

[viber]

My sexy ass is coming down.

See you in a sec :D