Out.

[mostlyajerk]

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[mostlyajerk]

...let's pretend I was talking about the freaking scholarship, you loser.

From what you told me, Bendis isn't even that great.

[viber]

OH. That. Yeah, no, I got that. Me and Wells chilled last week and he totes told me then.

He isn't but this is a rare collectors item I can sell on when it appreciates more.

[mostlyajerk]

You're an idiot. But I'm glad.

Did you celebrate?

[viber]

I think so? I just know I got really, really, really drunk and blacked out.

Oh hey so you got it too, right? I told Wells to look into you when we first started things. Even if you're a total dick.

[mostlyajerk]

You're very mature I see.

Yes, I just heard about it all today. I finally managed to pay back the debt I had to a friend for a very long time, I might actually get somewhere to live, it's pretty incredible.

Thank you. Even if you're an immature idiot.

[viber]

Gonna move in with your boyfriend, huh? What was his name? Like Alex or something?

I just remember him calling me pretty and then taking off his shirt to show me his abs. Even though we were in a fairly busy nightclub where shirts are meant to be kept on.

You're such an asshole, I can't believe I have to work and study with you.

[mostlyajerk]

Axel, yeah. That's the plan.

He doesn't think much of dresscodes and he thinks a lot of his abs, so that's just him. To be fair, they are nice abs.

I know, awful. But there could be worse than not being the only young genius there. Supposed genius in your case.

[viber]

Oh they are, not arguing. Just a little weird. Then he made me smell him because apparently he smelt amazing and actually, he really did. You're very lucky.

Dude, don't driveby me. I'm as much as genius as you.

I got the scholarship offer first so there. Suck it.

[mostlyajerk]

He's a lot weird, most of the time. It's his thing, you get used to it. I was overwhelmed when we first met.

You're first in the alphabet, genius.

I'm glad. And I said thank you. It should be fun.

[viber]

He seems cool. Ignore what the other guys say too, they're judgey dicks.

Nu-uh, I'm just the better one.

It'll be fun if we don't kill each other.

[mostlyajerk]

I'm used to it. I'm used to worse. But thanks for the sentiment.

Keep telling yourself that, Cisquito.

Are you moving out too?

[viber]

Yeah, well, I think he's cool. I don't think you are.

Me?

Please, dude, I already did. Kinda. I didn't really tell them or anything but I've been crashing on a friends couch for months now and then I'll get my place annnnnnd then maybe I'll call them. Maybe.

[mostlyajerk]

That's fair. No one thinks you're cool. Maybe when you get a hot boyfriend.

Tell your parents, you mean? See, I call up my parents every now and then, they have yet to answer. Do you know where you want to move?

[viber]

No one thinks you're cool either, dork. And knock it off, dick. You know I'm not into dudes.

Yeeeep. Hey, when I first left, I called them to say I wasn't coming back and then apparently Dante came in so they hung up on me so I'm just like fuck it. They can call me.

I want to go off campus but nowhere too far away.

[mostlyajerk]

I know no such thing. Also, just for the record, dudes? As a general rule, way easier to get.

Our parents can compete for parents of the year award. Seriously, you'd think your parents would be thrilled with you.

My reasoning too. Might be getting one neat place, it mostly depends on money, since I have none.

[viber]

What's that supposed to me? You think pulling a girl is too hard?

No, they asked me if my 'tinkering' would interfere with their schedules. Dante is very busy. I did get a half-hearted 'congrats' from my dad.

I'm broke too but Wells said we can apply for student living costs and get a grant for housing so not a bad idea.

[mostlyajerk]

Actually, not really? I usually get invited to drinks when I'm at a straight bar, we get a lot of threesome offers too, they are always very polite.

Hey, that does put yours in the running over mine at least. But man, they do realise you could literally change the world?

Yes, I'm already looking into that. I mean, I've been sharing a mattress that's not even mine for a long time now, I'd like a bed to share.

[viber]

I hate you so much.

No? I don't think they do? Mostly my college classes got in the way of when dinner time was and they had to push it back and they didn't like it so they were mostly pissy over it in general. I'm not shocked me actually getting somewhere got no attention.

... Ew buuuuut I can still win this. Dante had sex with the girl I liked on my own bed. Right on my Star Wars sheets.

[mostlyajerk]

What? Straight guys keep talking about it as if it's hard. Very simple with guys, from what I can tell they just get down to business.

That's so ridiculous. You should just go tell random people about how successful you are, get a confidence boost that way. Your brother's not exactly a winner, I met him.

Oh, not a chance. We didn't even have sheets for a while, couldn't afford them. I could go worse.

[viber]

The last girl I tried to get with, I babbled about shrimp for five minutes... I have no idea why. I don't even eat shrimp. Girls make me panic.

He was touched by God. He's a winner even if he gets up in the morning. I'm good, I get it, I'm smart and badass. I'll survive without pats on the back.

Dude, are we seriously going to one up each other? Fine. Let's do this. Once my brother and his friends had a sleepover and they didn't want me in the room even though we share it so they locked me in the hallway closet and my mom didn't hear me because she was watching TV too loud. And I'm hella claustrophobic.

Your move, bro

[mostlyajerk]

So, we need to either find you a girl at a sushi bar or find a way to keep you from talking.

How often DOES he get up in the morning? Because I doubt it's all that often.

My boyfriend's pimp had me beat up and threatened to shoot me up with heroine and/or rape me, since he stopped buying drugs and didn't want to keep working.

Though, seriously, what's wrong with your brother?

[viber]

I vote the last one.

Rarely. Usually afternoons.

... Your boyfriend is a whore? Oh. I thought people were just trash talking. Okay, dude, that one is good I will give you that BUT my parents once forgot my birthday because Dante had a concert and I thought they were planning me a surprise party and playing dumb because of that so I rushed home all excited annnnd no one was there. And I got no presents. And by the time they remembered, they panic brought my gifts and they were pathetic. I got a Frisbee. Who the fuck wnats a frisbee.

idk maybe he'll grow up and be better.

[mostlyajerk]

Okay, so... At a club? Loud enough you can't make conversation?

He's quitting. It's complicated, see aforementioned beating up. To get me out Axel had to steal money from our only friend and work for free for a while. Also act like that's a good deal and we ought to be grateful.

That's awful. My parents didn't believe in birthdays or gifts or toys, but at least I never got my hopes up.

Doubtful, honestly.

[viber]

Oh dude, that's such a cool idea. I'm gonna do that!

He told me his job was working peer relations and negotiating... huh, weird. I thought he worked for like a legit company as like a HR guy. I did think he was kinda young for that. I'm sorry dude, that must suck.

It's okay, I mean, I learned a really good lesson from that. Never expect nice surprises! And I never have. Not once. I won't ever get my hopes up that high. No more gross sobbing under the kitchen table all alone for me!

[mostlyajerk]

My real genius, thinking of ways to shut you up.

Don't tell anyone. I mean, it's not his fault or his choice, but all he gets is judgement, so. Yeah, it sucks. He said he'd be home soon and it's been three hours, just gets you asking yourself more questions.

Yeah, optimism isn't really my style either. I still can't believe I got the scholarship.