mostlyajerk | Big House

Hartley resisted the urge to keep a hand by his ear. Fuck, it hurt, he must have messed with something he didn't mean to. He put his hand into his pocket instead, hoping that he didn't look as pained as he was. "Just tell me when someone bothers you."

Great. Great, his life sucked completely. Hartley felt his ear getting worse, he had to get this sorted and he couldn't be weak in front of people, so he turned to walk out slowly, glad that lunch time was officially over. He needed to get back to his cell immediately.

As much as Axel wanted to lash out and be cruel, take more blows at Hartley as revenge for the pain he was feeling, he didn't. He knew most people wouldn't see it but he did. Hartley was in pain and technically he was his bitch, it didn't pay for him to be hurt. He walked beside him, keeping a distance.

"You're hurt. You idiot, why did you get yourself hurt for me?"

"I wasn't exactly planning on it." Which was another infuriating thing. Hartley swallowed as if that could alleviate the pressure that was building. Scar tissue, some barely healed, too sensitive ears and at the same time that reminder of needing fixing. His parents had pulled a number on him, he knew that, even years later, but that didn't entirely feel how he'd always feel in his heart of hearts. "Anyway, I can handle it."

"Yeah, well, you just pissed off a lot of people and you want me to be left alone here. Screw that, I'm coming with you." Axel kept moving beside him because he knew that he was going to get his ass kicked, whether or not Hartley staked his claim. The trouble was that it was a new claim and people would still challenge. It was wise to stay with Hartley. "Where did he hit you?"

"I don't know. Worst places, he has terrible aim. Maybe you should have given him a go, odds are he'd not even have found your asshole." Hartley accepted that there was no getting rid of him, so he didn't try. Instead he moved into his cell, glancing up and down the hallway. He had a cell for himself, he had a lot of stashes. For now the only think he accessed was one tiny pocked inside his mattress and the tools he'd hidden there. He put them down on the mattress and knelt down by the bed, reaching for his ear.

"...you really don't have to watch this."

"I have nowhere else to go. I'll keep a look out." Axel leaned on the edge of his cell, not entering because what was the point? He had no idea where this was going but judging from Hartley's personal feelings about him, it was entirely unlikely that he was going to stick around to hang out and cuddle. "... You better know what you're doing, I have no idea how to help."

Why the fuck was he putting that in his ear? Ew. That wasn't good.

"I always know what I'm doing. Except for when it comes to you, because when I'm in love I have to lose my brain apparently." Hartley wasn't thinking much, because he was scared. Scared this wouldn't work, scared of the pain. He gritted his teeth and pulled his hearing aid out, ear piece, connected to the implants, except for now. he could see what he had broken and he couldn't hear a thing right now, his ear throbbing in pain.

Hartley worked on fixing the issue as quickly as he could. Not perfect, but it should do for now.

"You love me? ... Are you completely dumb?" Seemed like a fair response to that. What sort of an idiot loved him? He was a trainwreck, no one wanted to get involved in his life, he was that much of a mess. Hell, why else did Hartley think no one else would take him? Snart had the right idea shutting him down, he didn't even blame him for that.

He frowned and tried to pull himself out of his shock, moving in a little closer to look at whatever that thing was. "Was that in your ear? What the fuck." Maybe that thing about aliens putting implants in people was right and Barry wasn't totally crazy.

Hartley couldn't hear the questions, not that he'd have known what to reply anyway. He was focused on working this out and then he finally put it back, only able to relax when he was sure it had slotted in right. The pain would last for a while longer, he knew that, but at least it'd stop getting worse. He leaned his forehead against the mattress and took a steadying breath. "I was born almost deaf. My parents had me fixed, the implants are expensive. I've to improvise to keep them going."

"Oh." Ah, that explained it. Not an alien implant. "I'm sorry... I think. I don;t know. Is that the right thing to say to someone who was born deaf? It doesn't seem all that bad." Look, he had no idea, he was never in situations like this. He was born healthy with no issues, never had any, not even braces. "How pricey are we talking? Like selling drugs pricey or playing the stock market pricey? Because I'm sure you can raise funds here easy if you got some dealers and kept a cut."

"Not a chance, Ax. To fix them properly I'd need to have surgery and someone who could actually build them at that level and we're talking stock market pricey. My parents were willing to cash out a lot to make sure their heir wouldn't be a failure." Hartley turned around to lean back against the mattress, looking up at Axel. "It's not bad. It's just part of me and usually people have no idea. I don't mind it."

"Being deaf wouldn't make you a failure. I'm a failure and I can hear fine." Axel shrugged but he stayed in the doorway, looking around the hall and enjoying the temporary peace. The rec rooms were opening, the work shifts were starting, most people would be busy. Technically Axel was supposed to be doing clean up duty but fuck that, like he ever did. "I'm going to hang out here for a while until people stop wanting to kick my ass. Feel free to ignore me."

"I know that. That's just how my parents viewed it. I was defect, so they had it fixed." Hartley finally pulled himself up onto the bed, not too worried about work times. He worked when no one else did, because the guards were actually using him to fix up stuff for them. Meant he had a lot of freedom otherwise. Looking at Axel he gestured for him to come inside. "Can I hold you?"

"I thought your standards were too high for a guy like me." Axel shrugged, not looking too fond of the idea. Hartley just told him he loved him and that was just as terrifying as the horrible things he said and together, there were just too many emotions. He was confused and it gave him a headache. "I don't blame you, I'm hardly a prize. I'm just a dick who's been fucked more times than most whores. I wouldn't be into me either."

That concluded that experiment. Hartley sighed and lowered his arms, just leaned back against the wall. Now he wished Axel wasn't here, but what could he do? Nothing, as usually where Axel was concerned. "You were trying to abuse me again, so I was trying to hurt you. It worked a lot better than I thought, usually insults are like water on a duck's back with you. You know I don't care who's fucked you. I care about you. That's why I was so hurt."

"I wasn't trying to use you, I was trying to make a deal and I just figured you'd be easier to sway. What else was I going to do? That guy was brutal." Axel knew it had been wrong to try and play Hartley but at least he offered him something. Speaking of. Axel moved into the room and emptied his pockets onto Hartley's bed so he got all of his payment. "It's stupid to care about me, Hart. I told you this from the start. And look how much it backfired last time you liked me."

Edited 2016-06-28 17:22 (UTC)

"You said you didn't have a stash, Axel. Keep your stuff. I don't need it." The iPod was neat, but he could probably get another. He didn't really want Axel's stuff. He didn't really want any of this. It was just the usual with Axel. Risking too much and feeling like shit as a result and even lonelier than before. It hurt. "I know you told me that. Whatever. Just... Don't act like you like me. I know you just do that with people, but I'm apparently a teenager, emotionally. So. Please don't."

"Nope, don't pity me, I don't want pity." Axel shrugged his shoulders. He was going to give that to whoever wanted it and that was how it went. "You're down the money but that dude stole it and there was no way either of us were getting it back." Axel wasn't stupid, he knew that ship had sailed. Shame too, that was all the money he saved and he was hoping to keep that aside for the actual protection. "I don't act like I like you, I do like you. Doesn't mean it's a good idea. I know I should stop but I can't stop. I wanted you to like me." And he didn't know if that was even a thing any more. "But if you do like me, I get you into trouble so I never know what I want."

"I always did like you and whenever I acted on it, you did what you could to push me back. When I started acting as if I didn't like you, fine. Now I'm admitting I do like you and you won't even look at me. So just do what you want, Axel. You have my protection. I hate seeing you hurt, it hurts me too. But my ear hurts as well right now and I just can't have this argument again. Not a good idea, whatever. I'm tired of it all." Hartley shifted so he was lying down on the bed and staring at nothing in particular.

"Last time I like you, they made me break you." Axel shrugged and watched Hartley for a while before slowly, he came over and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out tentatively to stroke his head. "My brave Hart. Thank you for saving me today." What? He owed him that much, didn't he? "Emotions are messy, I don't know what to do with them. Whenever I don't get something, you're supposed to teach me how it works, genius." With a playful smile, he reached out and removed Hartley's glasses. "Don't sleep with these on, dumbass. Leaves a mark on your face after."

"Hey." But Hartley wasn't really protesting his glasses being taken, since he was right. Should he be kicking Axel out? He wished he was a genius about things like this. "I want most of all to not be in here, to meet you somewhere on the outside. Maybe at a bar, coffee shop, something like that. Somehow you'd see me and still like me and I'd probably be an idiot about it, but I'd manage to ask you out."

"I tried to blow up the city. I'm a terrorist. I'm not getting out of here, Hart. They hate me." No one died in the blasts, a few people got hurt but no one died, not like what his partner had done. Thirteen people dead and it didn't matter if Axel caused it or not, he was involved. They gave him life just for the intent alone. "It'd be nice though, wouldn't it? I'd like to meet you in a gay bar. Ask the handsome guy if he wants to dance with me. Maybe you'd have said yes, maybe I'd have won you over."

"I know that, Axel. I'm not an idiot. I'm just saying." Hartley lifted his hand so he could wrap his fingers around Axel's, looking up at the bed above him, not that he could see that well without glasses. "I'd have said yes. You're my type, hard to resist." A tiny smile and he shrugged. "Just doubt you'd have stayed around. I'm not the best company when there are any alternatives."

"Are you kidding me? Your eyes alone, pretty piper. I've been crushed hard since I saw you on trial." Yes, he watched the TV in the rec room and saw a picture of him when he was arrested. He fell hard before he even met him. "It's me who would have been traded up and I would have taken down anyone you liked more than me." What? He didn't play nice. If he wanted something, he'd have it. "If I bet a boy as handsome and as smart as you, I would have been a good boy for sure."

"I wouldn't have liked anyone more than you. I fall hard when I fall." And now he was blushing, because the boy he liked had said he liked his eyes. He was pathetic. He was in prison, he was supposed to be tough. Hell, most of the time he was pretty tough? At least he fooled a lot of people. But with Axel, somehow, that was a different matter. "See, there is at least a version of us that could have just liked each other."

(no subject)

trickedya - 2016-06-28 18:21 (UTC) - Expand