"I thought your standards were too high for a guy like me." Axel shrugged, not looking too fond of the idea. Hartley just told him he loved him and that was just as terrifying as the horrible things he said and together, there were just too many emotions. He was confused and it gave him a headache. "I don't blame you, I'm hardly a prize. I'm just a dick who's been fucked more times than most whores. I wouldn't be into me either."
That concluded that experiment. Hartley sighed and lowered his arms, just leaned back against the wall. Now he wished Axel wasn't here, but what could he do? Nothing, as usually where Axel was concerned. "You were trying to abuse me again, so I was trying to hurt you. It worked a lot better than I thought, usually insults are like water on a duck's back with you. You know I don't care who's fucked you. I care about you. That's why I was so hurt."
"I wasn't trying to use you, I was trying to make a deal and I just figured you'd be easier to sway. What else was I going to do? That guy was brutal." Axel knew it had been wrong to try and play Hartley but at least he offered him something. Speaking of. Axel moved into the room and emptied his pockets onto Hartley's bed so he got all of his payment. "It's stupid to care about me, Hart. I told you this from the start. And look how much it backfired last time you liked me."
"You said you didn't have a stash, Axel. Keep your stuff. I don't need it." The iPod was neat, but he could probably get another. He didn't really want Axel's stuff. He didn't really want any of this. It was just the usual with Axel. Risking too much and feeling like shit as a result and even lonelier than before. It hurt. "I know you told me that. Whatever. Just... Don't act like you like me. I know you just do that with people, but I'm apparently a teenager, emotionally. So. Please don't."
"Nope, don't pity me, I don't want pity." Axel shrugged his shoulders. He was going to give that to whoever wanted it and that was how it went. "You're down the money but that dude stole it and there was no way either of us were getting it back." Axel wasn't stupid, he knew that ship had sailed. Shame too, that was all the money he saved and he was hoping to keep that aside for the actual protection. "I don't act like I like you, I do like you. Doesn't mean it's a good idea. I know I should stop but I can't stop. I wanted you to like me." And he didn't know if that was even a thing any more. "But if you do like me, I get you into trouble so I never know what I want."
"I always did like you and whenever I acted on it, you did what you could to push me back. When I started acting as if I didn't like you, fine. Now I'm admitting I do like you and you won't even look at me. So just do what you want, Axel. You have my protection. I hate seeing you hurt, it hurts me too. But my ear hurts as well right now and I just can't have this argument again. Not a good idea, whatever. I'm tired of it all." Hartley shifted so he was lying down on the bed and staring at nothing in particular.
"Last time I like you, they made me break you." Axel shrugged and watched Hartley for a while before slowly, he came over and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out tentatively to stroke his head. "My brave Hart. Thank you for saving me today." What? He owed him that much, didn't he? "Emotions are messy, I don't know what to do with them. Whenever I don't get something, you're supposed to teach me how it works, genius." With a playful smile, he reached out and removed Hartley's glasses. "Don't sleep with these on, dumbass. Leaves a mark on your face after."
"Hey." But Hartley wasn't really protesting his glasses being taken, since he was right. Should he be kicking Axel out? He wished he was a genius about things like this. "I want most of all to not be in here, to meet you somewhere on the outside. Maybe at a bar, coffee shop, something like that. Somehow you'd see me and still like me and I'd probably be an idiot about it, but I'd manage to ask you out."
"I tried to blow up the city. I'm a terrorist. I'm not getting out of here, Hart. They hate me." No one died in the blasts, a few people got hurt but no one died, not like what his partner had done. Thirteen people dead and it didn't matter if Axel caused it or not, he was involved. They gave him life just for the intent alone. "It'd be nice though, wouldn't it? I'd like to meet you in a gay bar. Ask the handsome guy if he wants to dance with me. Maybe you'd have said yes, maybe I'd have won you over."
"I know that, Axel. I'm not an idiot. I'm just saying." Hartley lifted his hand so he could wrap his fingers around Axel's, looking up at the bed above him, not that he could see that well without glasses. "I'd have said yes. You're my type, hard to resist." A tiny smile and he shrugged. "Just doubt you'd have stayed around. I'm not the best company when there are any alternatives."
"Are you kidding me? Your eyes alone, pretty piper. I've been crushed hard since I saw you on trial." Yes, he watched the TV in the rec room and saw a picture of him when he was arrested. He fell hard before he even met him. "It's me who would have been traded up and I would have taken down anyone you liked more than me." What? He didn't play nice. If he wanted something, he'd have it. "If I bet a boy as handsome and as smart as you, I would have been a good boy for sure."
"I wouldn't have liked anyone more than you. I fall hard when I fall." And now he was blushing, because the boy he liked had said he liked his eyes. He was pathetic. He was in prison, he was supposed to be tough. Hell, most of the time he was pretty tough? At least he fooled a lot of people. But with Axel, somehow, that was a different matter. "See, there is at least a version of us that could have just liked each other."
"Oh yeah. They'd have danced together, fallen in love, had some hot sex and never left. You'd be all busy being genius and I'd -- dunno, I'd find something legal. Maybe a stripper." Axel teased as he settled down on the bed and tapped at Hartley until he looked at him, using that to his advantage to move him around so Hartley was lying against him. Well, if he was going to stroke his hair, they may as well lie together. "We could get a dumb little apartment and watch the TV we want. I can't survive on basic cable that only the white supremacist have the remote too."
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