Tricked Out

[mostlyajerk]

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[mostlyajerk]

Pretty much. Life is cruel that way, you bastard.

I changed your name in my phone, it won't happen again.

[itstricky]

Changed it to what?

Boyfriend?

In your beautiful me-centered dreams, pretty boy.

[mostlyajerk]

You know, for someone looking like the textbook definition of 'twink', you really like pointing out how pretty I am. Also for a supposedly straight boy.

I changed it to 'bastard', actually.

[itstricky]

I don't look like a twink, don't project your weird gayness onto me. I'm skinny, sure, but I totally rock the look. Ask anyone!

Mean! Find. I'll change yours to dick.

[mostlyajerk]

Never said you didn't. Not my type, but whatever.

Do what you want.

[itstricky]

Oh please I am so your type! You think I'm hot.

I always do :D

[mostlyajerk]

Right. Must be why my boyfriend is about three times your size.

[itstricky]

I so call bullshit.

Prove it. Pics or it's a lie. Or lemme meet him

[mostlyajerk]

I'm not letting you meet anyone, ever.

[itstricky]

...

Fake. I'm calling it. So fake.

[mostlyajerk]

...how would that be fake? What do you think he does, blow up his muscles?

[itstricky]

He looks like a fucking GI Joe doll. It's not a hot look.

Also so not his chest. I won't believe it until I meet him.

[mostlyajerk]

No? What is a hot look then, pray tell?

And it is. I've touched it thoroughly, I can assure you.

[itstricky]

Not that. Who the hell finds a living action figure hot?

I still call bullshit. Looks like a cap from a porno.

[mostlyajerk]

Yes, that's it. I'm dating a gay porn star. You should see his cock.

[itstricky]

No thanks, not my style.

Got any normal porn stars? Maybe some pretty girl, big chest?

[mostlyajerk]

It's still normal. What's the matter with you anyway? Raised Catholic?

Anyway, he's not. He's sweet, I like him, don't be an ass.

[itstricky]

No. Raised circus :D

I'm not being an ass to GI Joe, I'm sure he's very posable and has a range of outfits.

[mostlyajerk]

That's neither surprising nor mutually exclusive.

Oh, yes. Now that you mention it. He's versatile.

[itstricky]

I think my maybe clown daddy was a Catholic? Maybe. He wasn't a very good one but he sometimes prayed. When his horse was racing.

He sounds like a prick. Just saaaaying.

[mostlyajerk]

Whatever. I'm just trying to figure out what made you such a homophobe.

You don't even know anything about him. What makes him a prick, that he's not afraid of kissing me?

[itstricky]

Hey I'm not homo anything! I got nothing wrong with gay people. I like you. I like Axel. I even like my maybe strong man dad and maybe nail eating dad. They were a cute couple.

That you're afraid to introduce me to him so there has to be some fault. Probably a prick or has a messed up face. Or you made him up.

[mostlyajerk]

Right. You showed that when you kicked me out at two am.

There is some fault. You are the fault. I'm not even talking to you!

[itstricky]

Cause you got all weird and I panicked and now you won't let it go so maybe I did the right thing cause you're clearly a total pain in the ass over every little thing so fuck it. And fuck you.

I'm not the fault. Why? Do you think I am? Worried GI Joe will meet me and get jealous?

[mostlyajerk]

Every little thing, right. I wish you'd not make me suffer because of your sexual identity crisis. Fuck off.

No, I think that you're an asshole and I don't want him to think I'm friends with assholes.