Like no one ever was

[mostlyajerk]

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[viber]

GASP!

Hartley Rathaway is alive! It's a miracle. And he picks me to speak to above all. Oh goodie. Cause, you know, I wouldn't know you were alice what with you ignoring us and only emerging periodically to try and slam us.

[mostlyajerk]

You're truly privileged. Feel free not to inform anyone else of this rare honour.

I'd prefer if there was no reason to slam you.

Fine. Sometimes it's fun.

[viber]

You look for any excuse to slam us and it's rude, man. I'm not a super villain who hates pokemon because I work in a lab and I have pokeballs. My guys love me.

And Barry Allen came in today, I already looked over his eggs. It's about to hatch actually.

[mostlyajerk]

Your pokémon might love you for some reason, but I told you before that the technology Wells wants is taking things too far. Even if he wasn't willing to use it, others definitely will. Maybe they are already.

Good. Do you have any idea what it is? I'm suspecting electric, but I didn't actually take a closer look at it.

[viber]

They love me because I'm the bomb and they know that. And geez, give the Wells hate a rest. I'm sorry you two fell out but don't take it out on our research. He's not the bad guy because he doesn't want to work with you any more.

It's electric, I'm not sure what but Barry isn't far away and he said he'd come back when it hatches. I have a few theories already.

[mostlyajerk]

We both agreed to discontinue our working relationships because his quest for whatever ends he wants to achieve is unethical. I don't know how many times I have to reiterate that before it will sink in. You're all looks, barely any brain.

I just hope he actually gets a weaker pokémon, he seems like the type that'd get a few too many electric shocks otherwise.

[viber]

Oh please, I am not looks and all brain.

... wait, no, I'm both! I'm definitely both!!!

Caitlin thinks it's a Pichu just going by the egg. That is going to be hella funny. The guy seems nice but he also walked into the door on the way out and got lost in the lab so, you know, I hope he can handle a pokemon like that.

[mostlyajerk]

You're something, all right. Not bad-looking.

Caitlin is probably right. But a Pichu shouldn't give him too much trouble, they are mostly friendly, affectionate and they can zap humans, but they don't really intend to. He'll be fine.

How are your pokémon?

[viber]

I'm better than bad looking. I'm like hella fine, my hair is as shiny as the sun. Who doesn't dig that?

I'm sure he'll be fine. I just wish it was something that wouldn't shock the poor guy.

They're good. Mostly. I mean Vertigo got into the lab so that was unfortunate but totally my bad and I'm like ninety percent sure Rawry will evolve soon. I know I say that every time we talk but he will and it'll be glorious. People have been laughing at me Teddiursa for years, just wait. He will stomp their asses.

Oh and I lost one of them but I'm sure she'll come back.

[mostlyajerk]

I did tell Barry about your hair actually.

He'll get over it. It comes with the territory. My shoulders are permanently stiff because of Echo's habits, not to mention everything else.

...which pokémon did you lose how?

And sure, Rawry will evolve any day now. Which reminds me, see attached video of Reverb. That's someone I came across a few months ago. He likes me.

[videofile: reverbnoibatnoivern.mp4]

[viber]

You do get used to it. Like Sneezy, that cubchoo we took in, holy shit dude, mucus everywhere. All my stuff gets slimey when he's near it. I would kick him out but I'd feel bad and everyone keeps joking it blends with my team so I've given up. I think he's officially mine now.

My Emolga, Livewire :( flew off and ditched me.

Reverb evolved. God damn it, you got that way after I got Rawry! This is so unfair.

[mostlyajerk]

It does blend in with your team. I almost can't wait for you to challenge a gym.

She was a flighty one.

Reverb likes to fight everything and he was probably already quite experienced when we met. I don't have him, I haven't got him. He just accompanies me right now. Also, he lets me fly on him which is pretty great.

[viber]

I hate you so much. You just wait until my boys are ready. When they all evolve, oh boy, you're going to face some serious badassery.

She is, she's my best too so if I do get in a fight, I need her.

FINE, you 'met' him after I had Rawry and somehow you still managed to evolve him. Everyone is evolving and my stupid dumb bear isn't and all the proper trainers laugh at me!

[mostlyajerk]

Sure. I don't think Rawry wants to evolve, Cisquito. Maybe you should go out to find someone new.

Maybe she just likes to be free.

I didn't evolve him, he evolved fighting a Gyarados that was attacking us. Which was a really impressive fight, by the way. He's a fighter, he's very protective. Competitive too. That's the kind of pokémon that can take on anything.

[viber]

He does, he just doesn't know he wants to evolve. I won't give up! He's gonna evolve.

Pffft, bullshit, she likes to play in the trees then she comes back to me. Don't make this a pokemon right issue. She likes me, she likes our home, she has zero issues. She just likes to play outside.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, your pokemon is badass. We get it. Congrats.

[mostlyajerk]

You'd be terrified if he was suddenly a bear taller than you.

Just never force her into anything or she'll electroshock you.

He's not my... Whatever. Yes, he is. Now, tell me about the Lake of Rage.

[viber]

Nope, I'd be the proud owner of a badass pokemon for once instead of what has essentially become a collection of freaking carebears.

We're bros, she'll never shock me. And I can't force her, she's too fast for me.

Dunno about the lake of rage.

[mostlyajerk]

I do miss you, Cisquito. I'm a lot better in telling whether you're lying or actually ignorant in person.

You know nothing about the lake?

[viber]

You're such a dick.

I know nothing about the lake, stop bugging me and go back to mocking my pokemon.

[mostlyajerk]

Since you know nothing, I'm sure the news you'll see tomorrow won't be interesting to you either.

[viber]

... What news?

[mostlyajerk]

Since when are you interested in the news, Cisquito?

Go to sleep. Some of us work best at night.

[viber]

I can't sleep, my joltiks are keeping me up.

What news???

[mostlyajerk]

Bye.

<3