mostlyajerk | A Whole New World

"I tried, Axel. I asked if I could come with you and he told me that he wants to come himself and started getting on my nerves about why I care about you even though you're taken, stuff like that."

Hartley smiled a little, his lips at least visible. "Of course I won't tell them. I'm trying to think, Ax. I want to find a way to get you to Atlantis without Zoom interfering. The whole family."

He knew he couldn't go. He was an asset. He had done awful things. He was with Zoom, there was no going back and he knew he was getting worse day after day. "Reverb is doing me a favour, going easy on you. He'll keep to that."

"I don't care if I go, I'm going to make sure Mark and the kids go. I can hang back, I can deal. Worst comes to worst, as long as they're okay, I can handle Zoom." Yes, he was bad at this but he could deal with the idea of coping just a little longer so he could save the ones he loved. They'd be okay without him, he knew that.

"If I just have to do one job with Reverb and that'll prove loyalty then I'll do it and do it well but I can't keep doing this, I'm not made out for it. Somethings going to give and when it does, I don't think I'm going to live through it."

Axel shrugged his shoulders. He would have loved to be more positive but given Zoom killed his henchmen without thinking, Axel had no delusions.

"I want you to go. I want you to be safe. I need you to be safe, Axel, you deserve better than this." He knew there was no hope for him, but Axel was different. Axel had to be different. If he couldn't keep Axel and his family safe, than there was nothing right in the world any more.

"I'm not going to let you die. You're going to be fine. You're right, you're not made for this and I won't let them break you." Hartley longed for the time when he could have normal conversations. Normal anything. Hell, last time he'd tried a one-night-stand Reverb had interrupted him.

And he'd killed people. He'd made people things they'd have never done. He'd broken his principles. He didn't want to see Jerrie again, because how was he supposed to meet Jerrie's eyes after all this?

"We'll find a way to get you out. Then you can just send me emails from Atlantis."

"You're cute. Such an optimist. If I get out of here and to Atlantis, I'll give my entire fortune to charity." That was how unlikely he thought it was. Though, to be fair, Axel had almost done that a few times when drunk and generous so it was more likely the second one would happen before the first one.

"Mark is a good dad, an amazing dad, the kids will be okay with him. Jerrie will be fine, I swear. Don't worry so much about my family, I'll do anything to protect them. And myself, I guess."

He was second priority compared to his family, he knew what Zoom was likely and he'd seen better metas die already so he wasn't holding much hope. "When almighty Zoom rules the city, we're all fucked anyway. No point in splitting hairs here. If he wins, Atlantis or not, I'm dead. We all are."

"I'm not an optimist. I just need to believe in something. There isn't much left." Hartley shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "When the best thing we can hope for is for Reverb to revolt, there isn't much hope left."

He looked out over the city and wished he could do something to save it. So much power and potential, but going up against Zoom? He wished he had that bravery. He wished he had the confidence. "It's weird, isn't it? It's only been a few years. Back when I shared a bed with you."

"Reverb is his right hand man, he's not going to revolt. Why would he ever do that?" Reverb was the one who forced him to swear his life to Zoom, he wasn't always the loyalist, everyone knew that was Killer Frost, but for all his other motives and side projects, he never seemed to drift from the mission. Or so Axel thought. "... Do you think he would?"

Axel crossed his arms and looked back through the window at where Mark had rolled over into his spot, a small smile on his face. "Yeah. Though you didn't often stick around long enough to share it." Too afraid to open up and be emotional, that was always Hartley's problem. "I wish it had been different but I wouldn't change how it is now. I'll always love you, I'm just not in love with you any more."

Just a shrug. What was he supposed to say? The less Axel knew, the better. "Reverb is ambitious." That was enough.

"I know you're not in love with me. I don't know if I can love any more. I probably shouldn't. Can't see much good coming from it, it's bad enough just having a conscience, never mind feelings." Hartley smiled reluctantly, watching Axel look at someone with love. Sometimes it felt as if he'd only narrowly missed out on this, but really? He knew better. And he'd go home and be alone, unless Reverb asked him to do a job instead. Fun times. "You always deserved better. I'm glad you have it now and I'll get you out of this mess."

"If you ever want to find love again? Pro-tip, stop mind controlling people. It's a real turn off." He put up with so much of Hartley's anger, ambition and crazy messed up emotions and he always dealt or tried to deal. Then he used his power just once, just slightly and that was it for Axel. Knowing what he could do and how easily he could do it? Terrifying.

Turning back to Hartley, he smiled warmly and moved back over to him, reaching out to gently pull his hood back so he could actually look at his face. "You deserve better too, darling Hart. And you'll get it, I believe it'll work out for you. Trust me."

"You shouldn't think I deserve better. You know at least a third of the stuff I've done. You've seen me do some of it. What, you think I can still just take off the hood and the mask and be me? i thought it worked that way for a while. What I deserve now is jail. Generously." Hartley sighed and looked at Axel, for a moment before lowering his eyes. He wanted to pull the hood back on, but now it'd definitely be too much like hiding.

"You're the only link I have to normalcy. That's why I need you to be safe. Because I care for you and because you mean so much."

"There's nothing you can't redeem yourself from and there are ways besides jail to make up for what you've done. You'll be okay, Hart. Even if you don't believe me now, I'm still going to promise you." Reaching out, Axel moved in closer and kissed Hartley's cheek. Just because. Whether or not he loved him, whether or not they even had a thing still, they were bonded. Axel considered him his best friend and that'd never change.

"I need to go back to bed." Axel sighed and backed away from him. "Be safe. Be hopeful. I'll be okay. I'm always okay, aren't I? Hell, I'm running on like no sleep and my playboy pad in now a daycare. If I can survive that, I can survive anything."

A Whole New World

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