"I love you too. I never doubted that you love me. I just doubt that you'll let yourself keep doing it." Hartley wished he'd not have to say it in present tense, but he wasn't in the habit of lying to Axel. He watched him with the rat and smiled a little, shrugging his shoulders. "But you're cute. I don't know when I'll feel good about just telling you things again, but I'm trying. I want to share my life with you. It's just easier to do that when my life is going shit."
"Just do it and stop coddling me. I freaked out once. Once. After all the shit we've been through, I was bound to snap sooner or later and I just picked a really stupid time to do it. Stop treating me with kid gloves cause I fucked up and tell them. Share with me." Axel didn't mind, he wanted it more than anything but he'd ruined it now and hartley didn't seem willing to trust him. It kind of hurt. "Your life doesn't have to be tanking to share with me. I'm proud of you. Don't even think I'm not."
"I'll try. Look, it's just harder to get excited. It's been hard for a long time and I'm not going to coddle you now and pretend that you didn't make it harder again. I'm struggling to get over it, but the real truth is that there is less exciting stuff to share, because I don't want to get excited. It's not like I skip around prancing and dancing whenever you're not in the room." Hartley petted one of the rats and smiled at it. "But rats are pretty exciting, I'll give you that."
"Just stop treating me all weird because I freaked out once. I said I was sorry, just forgive me so we can move on." Axel picked up Dumbo again and placed him on Hartley's chest because this one was his favourite and he should get some pets from Hartley. That was how it worked. "It'll be nice to have pets. I haven't ever had one and I didn't think I'd like one but God damn it, these guys are cute."
"Consequences, Axel, remember? I'm not doing this to punish you, I just happen to have feelings." Hartley rolled his eyes and looked at Dumbo, inspecting where the hair had fallen out. "He should be fine. He's looking healthy, at least. Just with a bit of a haircut. Looks stress related more than anything, maybe they'll grow back."
"That sounds like a lot of effort to deal with. Wouldn't you rather forgive me? Get over it? Life would be easier." Axel reached out and stroked him just above where the patch of skin was missing. "Dumbo will be fine, I'll make sure of it. I actually like him so he can't die." Because that was how life and death worked. "It'll regrow and he'll be the most handsome rat in town."
"I'm trying to get over it." Hartley focused on Dumbo, snorting at the name. He petted his head and let him hold his finger, then he finally looked at Axel again. "I kind of have to do approximately seven billion hours of homework, but we should see about getting their living situation sorted out first. Do you have time tomorrow, to move?"
"I'm free. Let's do it. Me, you and our darling rat babies." Axel grinned playfully and lifted up one of the rats that was nibbing on his jumper, kissing the top of it's head. "We can get all our shit on the bus anyway, it's not like we have a lot. Tomorrow, we can move in and you can study. I'll unload these rats on nice people."
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