mostlyajerk | Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

"I think there are more important issues than you dating like, oh, I don't know, the fact we're being hunted and got accused of killing the Flash. We're fucked, who cares who you're dating?" Why did he have to talk about dating now? There was a lot of stress and he didn't have time for this shit. Also he didn't like to hear about it. He told himself it was just because of the whole lame homo thing and not because it bugged him.

"We do." Harvey looked up from his game with an amused expression. Closeted kids were so cute. "Did you have anyone after the last ex? Who was, by the way, indeed a dick." Harvey seemed to debate it for a moment before grinning at Eddie. "We have a few new kids who could work with Hart, don'cha think?"

"What? No! He's not dating right now. Deadshot is going to kill us, why are you trying to find him dates?"

"Oh, sure. Do you still like jerks? Because we have a lot of those. There are no jerks like Gotham jerks, trust me." Eddie held his hand out and Hartley - very reluctantly - handed him his flute. He was starting to get very flustered here.

"Er. No. I've decided to stop dating in favour of being hunted down like an animal for a crime I didn't commit. So far it's working out great."

While Eddie started to work on the flute, Hartley stepped even closer, unwilling to take his eyes off his baby for even a moment.

"What was your type again? You like dark hair, don't you? Can't blame you."

"He doesn't want you prying into his love life. Why don't you back off?" Yes, James was telling a Gotham rogue who was older, stronger and probably more powerful than him to back off because he didn't want to upset him and he had yet to make a gay joke. Apparently the old trickster wasn't as gone as he'd seemed like it. "He's not going to be dating any time soon so leave it until later and stop bugging Hartley."

... Shit. Did he just-- Aw no, he broke his own damn rule. He used his name. Ever since this started, he carefully avoided using his name. The tension seemed to be keeping them both sharp and on the right edge and he thought it was helping.

He thought it kept the distance he wanted. He needed. He was handcuffed to his crush and he was trying his best to ignore all and any gay impulses so yeah, bad jokes and no first names was just keeping him safe. He bit his lower lip and looked everywhere but Hartley and Eddie. "I'm just saying is all. No one wants to hear about all this lame talk, okay? You guys are as bad as girls. Can we stay focused?"

Hartley's head snapped around and he hated how his first reaction was panic. As if saying his name was what triggered Deadshot. Damn, he was damaged. Finally he just swallowed, lowering his head. He couldn't deal with all this. The music was so loud and he felt alone among strangers, with a walking corpse connected to his wrist. "It's fine, James. They're just playing."

Eddie looked at him with a sympathetic smile, handing the flute back over. "You look tired." Among other things. "I get that you're stressed, Trickster, but I had you pegged for being a lot more charming. Maybe next time, if you make it. I'd let you kids sleep here, but I like this place."

Selfish, but. Well, it wasn't as if they had time to hide out here. They had to run. Hartley nodded and put his flute away, looking at Eddie again. "Do you have food?" James kept complaining about how hungry he was. Eddie rolled his eyes, but he walked off into the kitchen.

Meanwhile Hartley turned his attention to James. "Ready?"

"Sometimes it's hard to be charming when you're handcuffed, about to die and surrounded by -- people." He nearly said freaks but he controlled himself. James wasn't even going to deny it, he was off his game and he knew it but what else was he going to do? He was scared. This wasn't him. He wasn't the kind of guy who made cruel gay jokes and got all defensive over petty things. It was just a hard time and he hated himself.

But it was better to get out of this alive and alone than fall in love get distracted.

"Trust me, I'm not coming back." Not because he assumed he was dying, just because he was never going to this shithole again. "I'm ready."

"Good luck staying alive. I hope you -- Oh come on, that was a fucking fumble! What the fuck is the ref even doing?" Apparently saying goodbye to Hartley and James wasn't even a tiny bit more interesting that the football game. Gotham people. They were touching.

"Think fast." Hartley caught the pack of cookies that Eddie threw at him. Better than nothing, he supposed.

"Thanks." What else to even say? He started to walk toward the door, knowing James would come with him. Not as if he had a choice. "Goodbye."

Eddie waved at them and then the door closed. Hartley opened the cookies while he was walking down the stairs. "We can split evenly."

He wasn't planning on eating much, but they were chocolate chip and he knew James liked that. So he passed a cookie to him and broke a piece of another for himself. He could have James have most of them.

"They are such dicks."

James sighed and took his cookie, taking a bite out of it as he wandered along beside him, knowing that they had maybe minutes before someone showed and kicked their ass again. Still, he smelt of kiwi and lime and his skin felt amazing. So that was something. He finished up his and held out his hand, aware they should ration it but fuck it, the next altercation could cause them to lose them.

"I'm so done. Can't we just go home, crash at yours and sort of pray Deadshot doesn't want the commute?"

"It's Gotham. That's about as nice as anyone gets here. If you're that bothered by them, just wait until we meet the Gotham heroes."

It was an unpleasant city. Hartley sighed before he opened the door, handing James another cookie. He smiled a little, offering a shrug. "Worth a try." Of course it was not. He remembered Barry promising that they wouldn't be alone this time. Of course they were. He'd known they would be.

"Good cookies though."

"The cookies are pretty amazing. So was that shower. Like the best shower I've had in ages." He raised his hand to ruffle his very soft and pleasant hair, enjoying how bouncy it was now. No wonder they both had amazing hair. "Handsome bunch of bastards, aren't they? Even Harvey with his face all fucked up is handsomer than I've ever been in my life."

He shrugged his shoulders, knowing he couldn't compete with those two looks wise, even if they were older. It just somehow made them hotter.

"Maybe the next guys who come after us won't make me wish I did more push ups and had a better skin care regime."

"They used to call Harvey Dent Apollo, back when he was DA and Eddie just got really lucky somehow." Talk about God giving with both hands. "No wonder he's conceited as all hell. But you don't have to worry, James, you're not terrible to look at." Not that he dared to so much as glance at him right now, as long as he had a choice. He handed James another cookie and smirked. "Hey, we were at the Penguin's first. He's no pageant winner."

"You're not so bad looking yourself either, Piper." Back to Piper, sure, but at least he wasn't being a total dick. Not like he was when he was with Ivy when he basically called him a fag without saying it. He supposed there was no point in causing a war if he could avoid it. "Penguin is not a looker, you got that right. Little bastard. Totally stabbed us in the back, I bet those two will as well. They don't have loyalty here, not like we did in Central City."

"We don't in Central City either. Nowhere anymore. That's why we're running." Hartley didn't feel like pretending they could trust anyone. They had left Central City for a reason. He pulled his flute out so he'd be ready, shoving the cookies into James' hands. "Maybe if we can keep moving while we're resting, we can actually stop running for a while." A train. Was he really thinking that?

Time had a way of happening.

"Let's hop a train back to Central City and we can crash in it until we get home. You never know, we might hit homeground and someone might come through for us." Who, he had no idea. The Central City rogues hated them for being too Team Flash and the Flash didn't trust them since Bart so they were basically walking an insanely thin line here where everyone just seemed to hate them. James knew he had to stop expecting someone to have their back but he wanted it.

"Are we close to a train station?"

"If you had to die, James, would you want it to be quick?" No, it wasn't a topic he should really breach, but what was he supposed to do? He was walking around with this burden long enough. "There's a train station in walking distance, if I remember right. It's been a while." He had a pretty good memory, so he wasn't really worried. He stared straight ahead, hand tight around his flute. "I think it might be best to die, knowing you're going down. I just wish it was for a good reason."

Well. This just took a disturbing turn. James had no idea how to answer. "I don't want to die." If this was going to end and end badly then he was going to at least fight until the end. That was the best option. Why give up and just decide that death was all that could happen. "You keep talking like it's already been decided and we're going to die no matter what. You never struck me as the kind to go out so easily. Come on, Piper. Keep the faith. We're going to be okay." And he was so not discussing ideal ways to die.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

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