"It's okay." He reached out and touched Hartley's shoulder, squeezing it gently to try and reassure him. He didn't like to see him like this, he hated that he could have died and he would have died thinking James hated him. Their last words in person would have been some homophobic trash he never meant to say. He was a total dick, no wonder Hartley could believe the lies Wells told him. No wonder he fell for an asshole like Wells.
"I'm sorry I didn't help you when you needed it. I was upset and what that creep said just got under my skin." He took a chance and sat on the edge of Hartley's bed, reaching down to playfully poke the bears cute little stitched nose. "It's not your fault what happened. You tried everything you could and he just beat you. It's not on your conscience, I promise."
"It's on my conscience. But thanks for saying that." Of course it would be on his conscience forever. It had to be. He had no idea what else he could have done, but he should have tried. At least he could have gotten some magazine to print his ranting, just anything. It might have given him more of an edge now. But after the way Harrison ended things and then James' rejection, he felt crippled. He was at a loss. Hartley smiled at James now, in spite of everything, because he was here and he got it. He wasn't trying to get rid of him any more.
"Same. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do. I thought you were hurt." And he was, pretty much. He should have been a better friends. He should have been more of a friend but hell, he'd been a coward for so long and now he was brave enough to try for it, he knew he had bad timing. What was he going to do now? Declare his love when Hartley was hurt, emotionally weak and getting over Wells? No. He wasn't going to do this now. He was going to be gentle, build up trust and hopefully, he could win him back.
"Do you like the bear?" He spent so long trying to pick it out, just stalling really but he wanted the perfect gift. "He seemed like he'd give good hugs." James shrugged then playfully opened his own arms out. "I also give good hugs if you need one."
"Just a little hurt. I had some trouble with my ears..." Hartley pointed at them, as if that showed much. There were some stitches, there would be scars, but really nothing too bad. The real damage was inside and whatever he was experiencing now. His hearing had changed and he couldn't figure it out yet. But that had time.
For now he hugged a tiny bear and didn't even feel ridiculous for it. That was the James effect, never to be underestimated. "You don't have to. You know. Be nice to me. I know I fucked up."
Hartley said that, maturely and collected. Then he ruined it by wrapping his arms around James and burying his face against his neck. This was much better than a call to his parents.
James held back tightly, smiling fondly as he wrapped his arms around him in a proper bear hug, trying to not squeeze him to death. "I give better hugs than the bear, right? I totally do. I'm less fluffy but I'm pretty warm and my shirt is so soft today." Mostly because it was so well worn and washed with an insane amount of comforter to make it that way. He didn't touch on what Hartley aid, he didn't want to humour it. Always avoiding the trickier conversations.
"So do you want to come crash at mine when you're out? Or I can stay at yours, I guess but you don't have a TV so I won't be able to watch my toons." He pulled a face at that idea, resting his chin on Hartley's shoulder. "Also I have the better kitchen and I bet you miss my cooking, right?"
He had to keep an eye on Hartley, clearly he was not in the best state of mind. All self destruction, no logic.
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"I'm sorry I didn't help you when you needed it. I was upset and what that creep said just got under my skin." He took a chance and sat on the edge of Hartley's bed, reaching down to playfully poke the bears cute little stitched nose. "It's not your fault what happened. You tried everything you could and he just beat you. It's not on your conscience, I promise."
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"I missed you a lot."
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"Do you like the bear?" He spent so long trying to pick it out, just stalling really but he wanted the perfect gift. "He seemed like he'd give good hugs." James shrugged then playfully opened his own arms out. "I also give good hugs if you need one."
no subject
For now he hugged a tiny bear and didn't even feel ridiculous for it. That was the James effect, never to be underestimated. "You don't have to. You know. Be nice to me. I know I fucked up."
Hartley said that, maturely and collected. Then he ruined it by wrapping his arms around James and burying his face against his neck. This was much better than a call to his parents.
no subject
"So do you want to come crash at mine when you're out? Or I can stay at yours, I guess but you don't have a TV so I won't be able to watch my toons." He pulled a face at that idea, resting his chin on Hartley's shoulder. "Also I have the better kitchen and I bet you miss my cooking, right?"
He had to keep an eye on Hartley, clearly he was not in the best state of mind. All self destruction, no logic.