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I'm a blood match if you need it. We found out the last time. What a bond!
I think that's his first language but how the fuck do I know? He tells me nothing about himself. I don't know his age, his birthday, his real name. I mean come on, James Jesse? So made up.
I think that's his first language but how the fuck do I know? He tells me nothing about himself. I don't know his age, his birthday, his real name. I mean come on, James Jesse? So made up.
"I know you don't." Hartley stopped by his door and unlocked it, then pushed it open to let them into the small and dingy room. There wasn't much of anything, really, but it was a lot better than what he could afford if he hadn't found a way to make his talents pay. He had a small fridge, a kitchenette, even the world's tiniest bathroom. There was a mattress on the floor, but mostly there was a desk full of his gadgets, tools and projects and books that he'd pretty obviously gotten in various sales. "It's not exactly worth being stabbed for. Sorry."
Hartley didn't hesitate with leading James to the mattress, letting him down carefully. "Lay down, yes? I'll take care of you."
Hartley didn't hesitate with leading James to the mattress, letting him down carefully. "Lay down, yes? I'll take care of you."
He's sleeping fine now, so if he doesn't get worse, I think it should be all right. I hope I stitched him up right, I don't want him to have some ugly scar because of me.
I didn't even know he spoke Italian. Maybe I shouldn't tell him that I understand it, see how much I can find out.
I didn't even know he spoke Italian. Maybe I shouldn't tell him that I understand it, see how much I can find out.
"I don't know, it's nice. I dig it." James smiled and then pulled away from Hartley so he could drop down slowly and at his own face. He winced a little and then shrugged off his coat, tossing it aside and gently lying himself back. He tugged up his shirt and looked at the wound, it wasn't that deep and a lot of the blood now was drying. He just needed it sorted before it got any worse. Or, God forbid, infected. He so couldn't afford medical bills right now, he could barely afford food. He needed to line up some new jobs.
"I'm sorry." James looked up at Hartley and shrugged ever so slightly, not able to move his body much. "I know I shouldn't have dumped this on you but I figured you'd be nearby. I didn't know what else to do."
"I'm sorry." James looked up at Hartley and shrugged ever so slightly, not able to move his body much. "I know I shouldn't have dumped this on you but I figured you'd be nearby. I didn't know what else to do."
Scars are sexy. Or so I'm repeatedly told by weird dudes with knife kinks. He'll be fine. James always lands on his feet, always has. He's so cool like that.
Oooh, do it! Share! I so wanna know. All I know is he's a weird circus kid who is hella fine. Like man, this eyes? They kill me every time."
Oooh, do it! Share! I so wanna know. All I know is he's a weird circus kid who is hella fine. Like man, this eyes? They kill me every time."
James is just an idiot who gets lucky a lot. He's nowhere close to as cool as you think he is.
I won't share, I keep my information private. But yes, he sure does have eyes.
I won't share, I keep my information private. But yes, he sure does have eyes.
"That's the sort of thing you apologize for? Almost dying?" Hartley rolled his eyes and walked into the bathroom, retrieving the first aid kit he had and kneeling down next to James. "Don't be an idiot. I'd not want you to be hurt. Not ever."
He pulled James' shirt up again, careful not to hurt him more. "I need to use the disinfectant. Sorry." That said, he sprayed it on, knowing that he had to do that to avoid any risk of infection. "I'll stitch you up. Just... Try to hold still. I've done stuff like this before."
More or less.
He pulled James' shirt up again, careful not to hurt him more. "I need to use the disinfectant. Sorry." That said, he sprayed it on, knowing that he had to do that to avoid any risk of infection. "I'll stitch you up. Just... Try to hold still. I've done stuff like this before."
More or less.
For one thing, I can deny just about everything. For another, no, cool isn't really the word I'd use to describe him.
His eyes are very blue. So, what? Are you in love with James?
His eyes are very blue. So, what? Are you in love with James?
"Oh God, this is gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt." James sucked in a breath and then gritted his teeth, laughing in place of crying out so he didn't upset Hartley so much. "Totally hurt. Whatever. I'm not a baby, I can take it." With a playful smile, he looked down and watched as the wound was cleaned, knowing that he just had to trust Hartley at this point. Usually he got things right, it had to work out.
"I'm bad at saying sorry. I usually have to be dying to say it, I guess. I'm not very good at saying it. I can say a billion and one words but when it comes to sorry, it just gets stuck. You know?" James caught Hartley's eyes and smiled sadly. "I usually am though. Sorry. I always fuck up."
"I'm bad at saying sorry. I usually have to be dying to say it, I guess. I'm not very good at saying it. I can say a billion and one words but when it comes to sorry, it just gets stuck. You know?" James caught Hartley's eyes and smiled sadly. "I usually am though. Sorry. I always fuck up."
What word would you use?
Nah. I mean I thought I did for ages but it turns out no, I just sort of want him to love me but not in a 'I love you' kind of way. Maybe in a brother way? I don't know. I never had family so I'm not sure how it feels to love them but I love James. I'm not in love with him.
Nah. I mean I thought I did for ages but it turns out no, I just sort of want him to love me but not in a 'I love you' kind of way. Maybe in a brother way? I don't know. I never had family so I'm not sure how it feels to love them but I love James. I'm not in love with him.
Annoying. Repressed. Putting on a show.
Good for you, I don't think he's a very good person to be in love with. You can have better luck than that, Ax.
Good for you, I don't think he's a very good person to be in love with. You can have better luck than that, Ax.
"I don't think you spend much time being sorry. You spend a lot more time distracting yourself so you don't have to think about it." Hartley looked away so he could focus on the wound, reaching for the needle and managing to get the thread in deftly. At least he did have a delicate touch. Whether he could use that to stitch a person back up, he didn't know about that.
"Lie down, James, all right?" His voice was gentle, he just needed him to be as still as possible.
"Lie down, James, all right?" His voice was gentle, he just needed him to be as still as possible.
"I don't like bad feelings. When I get bad feelings, I ignore them until they go away." Which was childish and dumb but he didn't like to deal with them. When Hartley and he kissed, he felt so much love and wanting in him. And it terrified him. He had no idea what to do with the fear and so he did what he always did. He pushed him away. And he still regretted it. "Some don't. No matter how I try or how much I want to just ignore them."
He lay back but reached up one hand to idly playing with Hartley's hair as he stitched him up. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I was a dick. Can we be friends again? I miss you a lot."
He lay back but reached up one hand to idly playing with Hartley's hair as he stitched him up. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I was a dick. Can we be friends again? I miss you a lot."
We all put on a show, pretty boy. Even you.
I really can't. My last offer was a guy from a neo nazi skinhead gang and he basically wanted me to be his bitch. I wasn't into it, you know? Like I can live with the whole tattooed psycho thing but I'm so not game for racists.
I really can't. My last offer was a guy from a neo nazi skinhead gang and he basically wanted me to be his bitch. I wasn't into it, you know? Like I can live with the whole tattooed psycho thing but I'm so not game for racists.
"I think you don't much care for good feelings either. Nothing with depth. That's why you keep smiling at everyone and why everyone wants to be your friend." Hartley might spend a bit too much time analysing James, but at least he definitely knew him. Nobody could deny that. "Seems like it's just a different way of being lonely."
He knew a lot about that. Loneliness. Hartley started on the stitches, focusing so much he was barely aware of the hand in his hair. "No more kissing." Seemed like a simple rule.
He knew a lot about that. Loneliness. Hartley started on the stitches, focusing so much he was barely aware of the hand in his hair. "No more kissing." Seemed like a simple rule.
Of course I do. James is just better at convincing himself.
I'm pretty sure you can get somebody who is not a racist. James always talks about how you can make even straight guys want you. Which is a creepy thing to keep talking about, by the way.
I'm pretty sure you can get somebody who is not a racist. James always talks about how you can make even straight guys want you. Which is a creepy thing to keep talking about, by the way.
"It's so weird sometimes. To be surrounded by all these people and be so completely alone." James laughed a little and put on that same smile, not letting Hartley's words make him at all self conscious. He was lonely and he didn't know how to truly connect, letting people in wasn't easy for James and more often than not, he just ended up regretting everything. "I like it when I'm with you. You make it all feel more alive."
And he was the idiot who fucked up what they could have had. He supposed he had to live with it now. "Of course, no kissing. You have a boyfriend now and all."
And he was the idiot who fucked up what they could have had. He supposed he had to live with it now. "Of course, no kissing. You have a boyfriend now and all."
Me and James talk about anything, we went passed creepy a loooong time ago.
Bullshit. If you're into a dude sucking your dick and you know it's a dude, you're at least a little gay and not straight. And I can but no one wants me. They use me. Big difference, Hart. Maybe you'll get that some day. Someone can still make you feel loved, adored and happy when they're just making use of you. It's just all very hollow when it's over and you realise.
Bullshit. If you're into a dude sucking your dick and you know it's a dude, you're at least a little gay and not straight. And I can but no one wants me. They use me. Big difference, Hart. Maybe you'll get that some day. Someone can still make you feel loved, adored and happy when they're just making use of you. It's just all very hollow when it's over and you realise.
"I do have a boyfriend." And, no, he didn't want to talk about how he was apparently special to James, how he made it feel alive, any of those sentiments that made his chest oddly tight and that made him wish that James would just want him, would want him to be his and would let Hartley have him. It was a stupid thought and, hell, it almost felt like cheating. He did have a boyfriend and he was rather intent on it staying that way. "He's good to me, you know? I know I got defensive. But he is."
Not everyone just wants to use you. Or me. I don't believe that.
Anyway, you have James and you have me. We aren't using you.
Anyway, you have James and you have me. We aren't using you.
"I know. He's good for you and I'm happy. I will meet him one day but I swear, I'll be on my best behaviour." With a playful laugh, he looked down at Hartley's handiwork as he finished the stitch, reaching down to very carefully pull the skin to get a good look. "Now there is some fine craftmanship. Hartley, you're so fucking talented. Is there anything you can't do?" Grinning, he let his hand drop and put it in his own head, ruffling his hair. "I was very brave, Hart. Didn't cry or anything. Do I get a lolly?"
Maybe. We'll see who turns out to be right. But I don't think I'll ever not want to help you when you need help.
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