I don't want to say because then you won't go or you'll roll your eyes like you always do when you think I'm not looking. So let's not go down that road. It's just a trip!
She told me they existed once but now they're dead because I really wanted to see unicorns and I looked everywhere for them and she told me the last of them was gone but they left behind normal horses to replace them, so I shouldn't be so sad and disappointed. She had to tell me something! I kept asking my teachers.
I can imagine. I'm sorry she's not with you, she sounds great. Every time you talk about her, she sounds even greater. That's something at least, that you can always remember her so fondly.
She made everything better, you know? I didn't have that for a really long time after she left me, I was always alone and scared. It's been better these days. I have so many friends, so many people who care. Still hurts. I was kind of hoping it'd feel better now.
I don't think it will ever really feel better. I mean, you can be happy, but you'll still miss her when you think of her. But that's just a sign of how great she was. But I bet she'd want you to be happy. Also probably to get better friends, but we're not all awful.
I call her sometimes. It's pretty ridiculous, I just like listening to her voice mail.
It's hard to feel better when I know that my mom died and the person who took her from me will never face justice. All they did was take my dad from me. I think she would have liked you. All of you. So would my dad. He really liked Axel, he said he was a good kid. I never heard anyone call Axel a good kid before.
It's your mom's voice. Everyone loves listening to it, it's comforting. I have the old answering machine tape from our house, it feels good to hear it sometimes.
Axel is a good kid compared to most prison inmates. Your dad helped Axel once, when he had the chance. They were trying to brand him with something awful and he stepped in. I wish I could thank him properly.
Sure, but your mom was amazing. The last thing mine said to me was that she wished I hadn't been born and will burn in hell.
You will one day. I'm going to get him out of there, Hartley. I'm going to save him. He's my dad, I can't stand that he's alone there. I love him so much.
I'm sorry. If it counts for anything, I don't think you're going to hell. You're the best person I know. I'd bet on you getting into heaven.
I know. He's a good man. You know I'd help you any way I could. You helped me so much with Axel.
I don't really believe in heaven or hell, but thanks for the thought. It's just funny, whenever I'm lonely I remember my mother telling me she'd always love me, but I don't even know if she ever said that or I just imagine she did.
I didn't help you that much, I just wanted to make sure you two were okay. Mostly I just whined to Lenny and my dad.
I like to think of it now, I know it's probably impossible but I've seen the impossible, I want to believe. And I want to believe that when my mom died, she didn't just stop existing. I want to see her again one day.
Even if they did stop loving you, don't ever think you're not loved. I love you so much, man. So does Iris, Eddie and my dad. We can be your family.
And Leonard got Axel some protection inside and your dad protected him and you stopped that teacher from yelling at me when I couldn't talk the day after my first visit to Axel. You did a lot.
I'll believe in you seeing her again, Barry. You deserve it.
I know. You're great. I mean, I'd do the same for you or Cisco. Or Ronnie, I guess, but he's Ronnie, what am I going to protect him from, or Eddie for that matter.
That is good. She'll always be with you in some way.
Thank you. I never knew family could mean good things.
Yeah, I never have to protect Ronnie. Ronnie protects everyone else. Yesterday some boys were chasing Cisco and Ronnie literally picked Cisco up and away from them before chasing them down.
One day she'll hug me again and it'll all be worth it.
no subject
Where exactly are we going?
no subject
If the guy asks, we're on an agricultural course though so play along.
no subject
What exactly are we looking for?
no subject
I don't want to say because then you won't go or you'll roll your eyes like you always do when you think I'm not looking. So let's not go down that road. It's just a trip!
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
That's rough. Mine just told me to sit straight.
no subject
I miss her a lot.
no subject
I miss my mom a lot too.
no subject
I'm sorry yours left you. She didn't deserve you.
no subject
I call her sometimes. It's pretty ridiculous, I just like listening to her voice mail.
no subject
It's your mom's voice. Everyone loves listening to it, it's comforting. I have the old answering machine tape from our house, it feels good to hear it sometimes.
no subject
Sure, but your mom was amazing. The last thing mine said to me was that she wished I hadn't been born and will burn in hell.
no subject
I'm sorry. If it counts for anything, I don't think you're going to hell. You're the best person I know. I'd bet on you getting into heaven.
no subject
I don't really believe in heaven or hell, but thanks for the thought. It's just funny, whenever I'm lonely I remember my mother telling me she'd always love me, but I don't even know if she ever said that or I just imagine she did.
The mind's a weird place.
no subject
I like to think of it now, I know it's probably impossible but I've seen the impossible, I want to believe. And I want to believe that when my mom died, she didn't just stop existing. I want to see her again one day.
Even if they did stop loving you, don't ever think you're not loved. I love you so much, man. So does Iris, Eddie and my dad. We can be your family.
no subject
I'll believe in you seeing her again, Barry. You deserve it.
Thank you. Your family is great.
no subject
I hope so. I tried to find her ghost a few times but I thinks he moved on. Good, she deserved to.
Our family, dude. You're part of it.
no subject
That is good. She'll always be with you in some way.
Thank you. I never knew family could mean good things.
no subject
One day she'll hug me again and it'll all be worth it.
Well, it definitely does now.
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)