mostlyajerk | coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine

"I like Kevin a lot. It's like reading a story about you." Axel joked playfully as he grinned and pulled a piece of paper from out of his sleeve. He unfolded it and then pressed it against the glass for him. It was a drawing, untidy and clearly done with a lot of distraction, mistakes and a bit of a shaky hand but it was Hartley.

Hartley dressed like a superhero with a little rat sidekick. "Look, it's the Pied Piper! Steals from the rich and gives to the poor. And he does it with the help of his rats!"

"That's the dream, isn't it? I wish that was me. Echo would love it, I can tell you that much. She always steals stuff and hides it." That little rat had too much time on her paws. "That's what I get for talking to you about socialism when we first met." What a relationship they had. Hartley thought about Cisco briefly, wondered who of these two men really knew him. Probably neither, ultimately. Might be for the best.

"I didn't know you were such an artist. I can't draw that well, I just do music."

"I'm not, I doodle. I used to doodle all the time but then I had to focus on other stuff and I'm really rusty now." But it gave him focus so he tried to do it more. Axel bounced in his seat a little and folded up the picture again, grinning brightly. "I know you do. You're all musical and shit. And you have that flute thing you rock. You used to play all properly and stuff, didn't you? I never knew if your parents wanted you to or if you really liked it."

Yes, he did some extensive internet stalking of Hartley Rathaway after he met him. Crazy in love and all. "Do you sing?"

"My parents liked me playing, I had to do performances at parties sometimes. They liked it all the way up until I told them I'd like to pursue it professionally, then suddenly I wasn't supposed to waste my time practising anymore. I still did, just secretly." What a rebel. "I do it more now. My rats like it, they squeak along sometimes." That was about the extent of his audience.

"I sing. I... I have a good ear, you could say." Understatement or overstatement, depending. I told you, sometimes I sing bits from musicals to annoy my parents when we have dinner." Hartley leaned forward and crossed his arms. "Now tell me how you know that I have a flute."

"That is the cutest fucking thing I've ever heard. Can you play for me some day?" He said some day in the hopes he'd get his ass out of here and Hartley would maybe at least humour him before turning him in. Iron Heights wasn't helping him, surely Hartley had compassion. Surely he wouldn't call the cops. He liked him. He said so! "I'll squeak along too."

He leaned back in his chair and laughed a little, not feeling much shame. "I internet stalked the shit out of you, Hartley Rathaway."

"What? Why?" Hartley felt the heat rise in his face, but he tried to ignore that. Always too quick to blush, he hates his genetics entirely too often. "Do I even want to know what you found out there?" He had no idea. It wasn't as if he had a Facebook, so anything about him on the net was outside his control. Worrisome.

"Anyway. I'd play for you if I ever get the chance, sure. I'd do it here, but people would stare."

"Just stuff about you. I wanted to know about you but asking a billion questions when drunk in a club was hard and I forgot to get your number so I spent a long weekend researching you. Then I hacked into the Rathaway computer, got their account deets and donated a nice amount to the local LGBT shelter. Whoops!" Not because he felt bad for kids or he cared but because he hated homophobia and to disown your kid over that? Bullshit! "They changed their deets after that so I couldn't do more. I did buy a tiara though."

He looked beautiful in it. "Let people stare! They all think I'm weird anyway. That's why they stopped trying to fuck me." He rolled his eyes. "Can't say I hate it."

"That's the best use of Rathaway money. I've been very tempted to do similar things." He had done some things that were quite similar, but he wasn't stupid enough to talk about them while sitting in a prison. He wasn't a complete idiot. "Now you know so much about me. Congratulations. It's sad, actually, I can't remember the last time anyone really wanted to know more about me. You are a special boy, Axel."

"Well, we have a lot in common, don't we? Or we did more before but ... I still feel like there's something. Don't you?" Maybe that was creepy but when Hartley looked at him, he saw understanding that he'd never seen and it tore him up inside because he wanted it. He wanted to reach out and touch him. He wanted him.

Special. He was special to someone. "You're so special, pretty Piper. So, so special."

"We have things in common, yes." Maybe not exactly the best things, but that might just make for more of a bond. Connected. Yeah, right. "I think I got lucky, I was pulled back before I lost control completely or I'd have ended up in here as well. I don't think that you deserve to be here forever. I do think that you should stop trying to kill people." Just to clarify that much.

"I know. Probably not." A little self awareness, amazing and all but he can only do this with Hartley. A therapist came at him and it was all attack, he was perfect and they were wrong. He felt oddly okay with Hartley, like he was safe and it wasn't going to backfire. "Meds or no meds, help or no help, I won't get out of here legally. I'll always be a crook, Hart. I can't stay here."

"I was going to be on the run. But there can be lines you draw yourself. There can be a code. I break the rules other people have. The ones society has. But I won't break my own, not ever again." That was what gave him nightmares, remembering the things he had almost done. "We don't need the rogues to let us know where we should draw our lines. I don't need my parents to tell me. I have my own rules. I think you have them too, if you dig deep."

"I dunno. I'm kind of a shitty person." Seriously. Off his meds and with his parents, any rules and standards went away but with Hartley, he kind of wanted to try. Maybe he could get something from him. Maybe he could be someone with him. Someone who could be special, who could hold rats and hear Hartley play the flute. Maybe he could behave for once.

"I'd try for you if anything. I think I can safely say that."

"Don't do things for someone, Axel. It never really works out. But I appreciate the sentiment." Hartley smiled a little, unsure what to really do with the way Axel looked at him. His heart hurt. There was no future with Axel and he had to be careful, Axel was far from sane. Yet here he was. "Do you have anything on the wishlist for when I come visit you next week?"

"Jelly beans and more comics. Maybe another rat picture." Axel asked as he fiddled with the buttons on his uniform and bit his lower lip, considering his parting words. It was time to stop talking and he didn't want to. Not again. He really didn't. "I'll ask them today. About... meds and shit. Just asking so. Yeah. Maybe gummy worms too."

He'd have earned them!

"Then I'll get gummy worms for you too." Hartley tried to keep his voice and smile light, not wanting to pin too much meaning to this, not wanting Axel to feel as if he'd let him down if this ended up being an empty promise and not wanting to feel let down himself. It was easier like that. "Remember to smile for me next time, sweet boy. That's your task."

coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine

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